Dialogue. "Well, there's your problem!"

How many times do I have to read bad dialogue before they get it?  It's not that hard is it?  For real...it isn't that difficult, right?

Let me use some adjectives and phrases that I come up with when reading less than wonderful dialogue.

1)  "Stilted."  Most of the time this type of dialogue feels manufactured and out of place.  The speaking my be too formal for the setting.  Whatever the issue, the dialogue isn't coming out correctly.  
2)  "People don't talk like this to each other!"  I tend to find this when to friends are speaking to each other in the text.  Character A says, "Hey remember this?"  and then Character B responds by saying, "Yes, it was March 23, 2010 and the clouds hung low to the ground.  We were...."  Stop!!!!  Friends don't talk to each other in this manner.  They normally just hit the highlights.  If you want to tell the story, it is best told through the eyes of the narrator and not through dialogue.  The dialogue can help it along or maybe deliver the punchline but that should be it.
3)  "I never heard anyone say this in my life."  This does not apply to Science Fiction or interesting facts.  We have all read that line and it makes us stop and think, "I've never heard that before."  Can it be a good thing?  Sure, I guess in the right hands that can good.  But if I stop reading because you told me something so peculiar and out of place, it normally is a bad thing.
4)  "Why?"  What is the purpose of this conversation?  Where is it going?  Why are you putting me/reader through this?  Every piece of dialogue should be moving the story forward, adding tension, or have a definite point.  If you are wasting space with speaky speak with no reason the faster I want to put it down.
5)  "What is so wrong with 'said'?"  I don't know what a chortle actually is.  I get tired of all the fantasy words you substitute for said.  Can we make an agreement?  Said and asked should be used most of the time.  If you have done your dialogue correctly you should be able to go stretches without using either.  And not only that, as a reader, I still know who is talking.  Yeah, it can be done.
6)  "A. B. A. B. A. B."  What does that mean.  Character A speaks.  Character B says something.  Character A speaks again.  Character be says something again.  On and on and onto infinity.  I think this type of dialogue fits into category 1 and 2.  It's normally both stilted and not real.

Tuesday Rundown

Sorry, not feeling so hot tonight.  I will be back soon!

Too Much Character

I'm currently editing a novel that was submitted to me recently.  I'm not publishing this particular book but trying to make ends meet if you know what I mean.  Do you want to know, of all the things that I have looked over, what drives me the most crazy looking at this particular text?  Too many characters.  In the first thirty pages alone there were an equal amount of characters introduced.

It's just too many to have.  There are a couple of characters that are introduced, named, and then never heard from again,  My question to the author...why?  Of all the characters that were introduced by name the author could consolidate all of them down to no more than seven, maybe eight, since the first few pages cover a lot of ground.  This helps the author tell a tighter more focused story and helps the reader keep track of who does what for whom. 

Look at your current character set.  Do more than one character accomplish the same purpose in the story.  Can you cut one and take their attributes and fold them into the other?  Streamline is best.  I'm not saying that a novel that contains many, many characters cannot work but you better be able to draw a picture of beautiful interwoven individuals that each bring their own gifts to the story.  I, however, subscribe to the less is best theory of character numbers in a novel.

Tuesday Evening Rundown

First, I would like you remind you of the brilliance of the Sleep Taking Man (NSFW).  He has a way with the English language doesn't he?  I bet he isn't half as interesting awake as he is asleep.  He is pretty fantastic in the nighttime.

Nathan Bransford is kind of like a good pastor at church.  He always finds that sermon (blog post in his case) that hits home and relates to your life at that very moment.  Monday he brought us this gem about book covers.  Why is it important to me?  I have my first book cover design is here!  We are getting closer and closer to El Paso Rain to being released!  Excitement is here and more information will be forthcoming.

The world has come to this.  And it is delicious! 

And finally, who knew that you could grow this many different things at home, in a pot.

Have a great evening!

Being Held Hostage

So, he won't hold the book burning if New York city removes the proposed mosque from the ground zero site.  He won't hold the book burning unless the President of the United States calls him directly.  It's off.  It's  on.  He's gotten death threats.  He has gotten support.  It's clear that this man is holding the cards in this twisted story.

Can I ask you a question?  When has burning a book ever been looked at in a favorable way throughout history?  

I'm not saying that we should not honor those who lost their lives on that awful Tuesday in September.  We should.  I remember them all the time.  I probably as sensitive to this subject as anyone, more so even.  I have a problem with movies making money on the subject.  I feel that little knot in my throat every time I see a picture of the twin towers.

Sorry, but burning the Koran is not an acceptable answer or gesture.  This is equivilant to those in Muslim countries burning bibles or the American flag.  It's looked down upon here.  How is this any different? 

This guy can burn his books.  He has freedom to express his ideas and beliefs as he sees fit.  I have a couple crappy books he can throw on the pile if he wants.  But to make a fuss about this and hold an entire country hostage by his actions is unacceptable.  And the people of Islam, who had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with 9/11 need to know that MOST of the American people do not agree with this one man's actions.

Tuesday Evening Rundown

Hope everyone is well rested after the long respite that was Labor Day Weekend. I ended up having a very nice four days off, which was very needed. In fact, we got a puppy. My wife has never had a dog. She and the kids had been bugging and mentioning and emailing about it. I finally gave in and I really like the dog. I like it probably more than anyone in the house. Isn't that how the world works...in unexpected ways. Anyway, here is the Rundown!

I tweeted this last week but how can we pass up something that looks so yummy and also reminds you of a lump of charcoal at the same time? And not only that, it also holds an awesome name. The Meatwad.

Kurt Vonnegut has as many fans and detractors as any author this side of Stephanie Meyer. I happen to be a fan. I loved Vonnegut's perspective. Here is a great showing of Vonnegut's take on drama...and possibly why Twilight has been so successful.

And finally, a great image from obsoletethebook.com

Have a great one!

The World is Not Ending

Ok, at least not the American world. We are definitely going through hard times. We have a contenscious political enviroment. We have high employment. We have internet sites that spew anger and hate (and that is just in the comments section of any well established blog!). But the world is not ending. I expect the sun to rise in the east tomorrow whether I have a job or not. I expect their to be a President of the United States tomorrow, next year, and hopefully for as long as I live. I expect people to have divergent views.

I do expect this world to get better, eventually. Todd Harrison of Minyanville always states, "We must go through this to get through this." We won't be all better tomorrow. There is no magic bullet to fix the economy, education, deficits, and the decline of the traditional publisher. We will continue. And we will

I saw this post today. It made me smile. It just makes you realize that simple things, like a garden, a tablecloth, and just a plain old egg on toast can change your mind.

That is what this country needs to do. It is what it has always done. It is to innovate. We can make old ideas new. We can think of things that haven't been thought of before. We can make dreams realty. It is only through this dynamic can we move forward. Change...and I'm not talking point for political pundits. I'm talking about the individual person. Walk across the country, even if only in your head. Look around. Find your niche. There is room for everyone.

I'm right here, just starting to change. I'll be welcoming submissions in the near future. Sooner than I was anticipating. I will post more when that time comes. But know that times is coming soon.